Schoolmarmee Prepares Her First Lesson

It is a quiet Saturday afternoon.

The children are mostly asleep (I periodically continue to hear thuds upstairs), and I am sitting alone at the dining room table, a stack of file folders, some college-ruled paper, my favorite pen, a good pair of scissors, and my new homeschool curriculum scattered in front of me.

I’m atwitter….

For in exactly a week and a half, I will finally have the opportunity to introduce my beloved 5-year old boy to an uncharted and exciting world of learning, beginning a new adventure for our entire family…

Homeschool.

Kindergarten!!

And I – Schoolmarmee – will finally be introduced to the world of teaching.

{Schoolmarmee = Schoolmarm + Marmee (the endearing and gentle Mother from Little Women), and this is who I will strive to be as I rule my homeschool with a firm hand and a soft word. And as teacher of this school, if I fail, I can still force my kids to call me this! Win win.}

Since our first day as mother and child in 2007, I suppose Gideon and I have been learning together. I have taught him to be civilized and to keep a lid on his temper, and he has taught me how to be patient and humble and long-suffering; we have taught each other how to love and how to forgive and what it means to be bound to someone by unbreakable chords.

And so it is only fitting that we begin this new journey together; he’ll be learning to read and write and do arithmetic, and I’ll be learning how to do this homeschool thingy. As ever, we will fail at times, we will succeed at times, we will be grouchy at times, we will be happy at times, we’ll have trouble communicating at times, and we’ll be on the same page at times. But we are in this together, and though his sisters will follow behind him in the years to come and I’ll do Kindergarten all over again, I just know in my heart, this year is going to be special.

My excitement is palpable. As I sit here (admittedly, a bit dazed by all the instructions) perusing my new schoolteacher books, I can’t help being transported back to my first day of Kindergarten. I was terrified to leave my Mama, and I have been told by eyewitnesses that I cried and clung to her legs, shy and scared and unused to being anywhere but home and with anyone else but her. But after the trauma of that first day (or week? Weeks?) wore off, my memories grow much brighter: the excitement of new assignments, my very own desk with a place for my books, a cubby with a little hook to hold my embroidered bag with the carousel print, the smell of pencil lead and erasers, my sweet teacher and her vibrato singing voice, the feel of  sticky Elmer’s glue on my fingertips, the brightly colored cut-outs on the wall, fat crayons and rulers and pencil boxes…

And today, sitting here preparing for my first day of school, it is all coming back to me in a glorious rush of nostalgia and sweet childhood academia.

How glad I am to be in Kindergarten again, and I vow to make this year as special for my little boy as it was for me.

I have no idea what lies ahead; there is a fear in me that I am naive in my excitement and that this venture is going to be much, much harder than I am expecting. But one thing is certain: my heart has been called to our little school at home, way back when my first pupil was growing in my tummy. And though almost 6 years have passed since that conviction was first born in my heart, I have never been more certain about anything in my entire life…

And I am so thrilled to have the opportunity to share my journey here at Mrs. Gore’s Home Academy. It means the world to me to have you alongside me…

But if you’ll please excuse me, I’ve got a lot of work to do! This curriculum, sadly, isn’t going to organize itself.

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Mrs. Gore’s Academy – an Official Welcome

I have been keeping a writing blog for a year and a half, sharing my family’s “diary” of life and life abundant at Mrs. Gore’s Diary.

Periodically, I would share our dabblings in homeschool. My son was 4 and, although he had not yet officially begun his education, we were having “homeschool” parties at my Mom’s house on every holiday, doing “schoolwork” (learning to use safety scissors), reading “schoolbooks” (mostly fairy tales and children’s books that I ordered through Sonlight’s P3/4 curriculum)…basically just sticking our toe in the homeschool water to see if we liked it. If it suited us. If it was our cup of tea.

Guess what?

We did. It did. It was.

And so as our first year of homeschool approached rather rapidly, it began to dawn on me that I would like to have a place to share homeschool ideas and encouragement without bogging down my non-homeschool readers with a gazillion posts about…well, homeschool.

Enter “Mrs. Gore’s Home Academy”. Here,  you will find ideas, resources, homeschool events, humor, and mostly, encouragement, as I skip (or slog? Who knows?!) through our first year in the homeschooling world. As Mrs. Gore’s Diary keeps me pretty busy with all the words and the blither blather, the posts here will be shorter and less polished, with more information and helpful hints than grandiose life lessons. And the best part? I’ll be forcing my sister-in-law, Amy, to participate in this blog, something I am positive you will all thank me for later.

Also, if you have been a regular reader at Mrs. Gore’s Diary, you’ll notice that the first 10 or so posts on this blog have been copied and pasted from the archives. I wanted to keep all of my homeschool experiences together in one place, but from this post on, everything I publish will be new! And exciting! And hot-off-the press!

As with everything I’ve shared on the blogosphere since 2011, I am wildly happy to have you alongside me and am so grateful for your listening ear and your sweet encouragement. I can’t be positive, but…I think we’re going to have a lot of fun here.

If you would like to receive updates from Mrs. Gore’s Home Academy, you’ll need to register your e-mail address. If that is too big a commitment, however, you can always find me through the “Home Education” tab at Mrs. Gore’s Diary. Thanks for reading! Oh…and Happy Homeschooling.

A Homeschool May Day – Part 3

After selecting and planting their flowers and delivering them on May Day morning, the children were invited to Grandmother’s house for an old-fashioned May Day lunch and celebration.

I saw a quotation on Pinterest that read “This project started in confusion and will end in disarray.” It immediately made me think of my Mom, who swears she is the worst crafter on the planet. She has a great eye for style and dreams of creating things, but when the finished project does not match what she envisioned, she wants to wad it up and throw it in the trash. She also lacks the patience to fiddle with small parts and supplies (something I think she passed on to me: making tiny treats for Gideon’s birthday party together left us both whining and wanting very much to beat our heads against the wall).

All that to say, she called me with a fit of giggles the night before May Day as she tried her best to create flower crowns for the girls to wear at the party. They were not doing what she wanted them to do and, quite frankly, her disdain for crafting and her past failures caused her to lose her confidence to the extent that she wasn’t even trying (in my opinion). Finally, I said “Mom, do you have any idea how smart you are?! I think if you use your brain you can DO this!” We laughed, even as I knew that by the next day, her crowns would be perfect; even if she doesn’t think she is good at crafts, I know how gifted she is and that her projects usually pan out after all the whining and frustration.

Love that woman.

And I absolutely loved this May Day party, flower crowns and all.

~

Anna and Gideon (wearing a flowerless Greek Olympian inspired crown) share secrets by the door as they wait for the party to begin…

our eldest Spring nymph, Abigail Grace, is about to be 8 years old, but she is mature enough to think that dancing on May Day with a group of little ones is pretty awesome…

and then there is my little fair flower of femininity, Rebekah Sunday…

Lining up for the May Pole…

Gideon, growing up surrounded by girls, doesn’t think twice about joining in…

all you need for a May Pole dance is a pole (duh), long strands of ribbon, a Celtic Woman CD (or anything lilty or Springy or dancey), pretty dresses, flower crowns, and willing participants. We obviously met all the requirements…

I don’t know if anyone got into the spirit of things better than our dreamy Anna Ruth…

We had to keep our eye on this precious girl lest the wood fairies take her away. How I love Kate Belle…

and don’t even get me started on this girl. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with her, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her…

Like my Mom’s crafts…

this project started in confusion…

and ended in disarray. 

But what a lovely mess it was…

inspiring laughter…

and happy smiles…

and clapping (gasp! It’s Mrs. Gore!)…

and lots and lots of spinning and twirling.

As usual, Betsie couldn’t join in the festivities, but she had lots of fun from afar…

happily snacking (or more likely teething) on Granddaddy’s fence.

Best “fwiends” Kate and Rebekah pose together after the dance…

they never make it through a day without at least one fistfight, but they are deeply devoted to one another and grow sad when they have to say goodbye.

Grandmother’s flower crowns turned out quite lovely, if you ask me…

but one thing she REALLY knows how to do is DESSERT…

You can always tell if a party is successful by how dirty Miss Sunday is at the party’s close…

May Day success.

~

As ever, thank you to my Mom for her thoughtful and generous love, and for Amy for taking such lovely photos. What a team!

And I hope all of you will consider celebrating May Day next year! I happen to know a lady who makes simply beautiful May Day crowns…

A Homeschool May Day – Part 2

I’ve been told that playing Santa is even more fun that receiving gifts from him. (I’m not so sure of that…)

But such is definitely the case with May Day…

As much as I love receiving a basket of flowers on my doorstep on May 1st, the real fun is in the delivering.

Per Grandmother’s request, our little clan woke up bright and early on May Day morning, excited to deliver our flowers to the dear sisters in our church who are widowed. I am so grateful to my Mom for aiding us in teaching our children how to care for the ones we love; what wonderful lessons she is teaching our little ones! And who am I kidding?…I learn a good lesson from her pretty near ’bout everyday.

Somehow we were able to get the kids dressed and fed, and congregate at Amy’s house early – for us – on May Day morning.

The children were atwitter.

And so was I.

We loaded our surprises into Amy’s big red wagon…

and through the streets of our town we walked, stopping in to see some of our favorite ladies.

It was a beautiful day…

and a beautiful memory.

And that was just the beginning…

Comin’ up: our first old-fashioned May Day CELEBRATION!

A Homeschool May Day – Part 1

As is her pattern, Grandmother had a holiday surprise for her homeschooling grandchildren, this time scheduled for May 1st. On the Sunday before May Day, invitations were handed out to the children bearing very mysterious instructions. The requests were simple, but vague: Be at Amy’s house in the morning at 10:00, be at Amy’s house the next morning at 9:00 and be at Grandmother’s house after that at 11:00.

As is our pattern, we obeyed.

And this is what she had up her sleeve…

She led the children across the street to “The Potting Shed”, an outstanding local business our small town has recently been blessed with. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to run down the street for our flowers rather than drive allllllll the way to the city…

Miss Cindy opened shop just for us on this beautiful morning, which made our outing seem even more special and important. My Mom informed the children that we would be making May Day baskets for several of the widows in our church, and that they could each pick whatever flowers they thought were pretty.

Of course, Betsie is too young to participate, but she had fun, nonetheless…

And soon we were boxing up our purchases and toting them back to Amy’s house…

Then the real work began…

Finally, our May Day surprises were ready to go…

And only one sleep separated us from our first real May Day celebration…

~

Coming tomorrow…the delivery!

(Oh, and if you live in my town and have not visited The Potting Shed, you should go. Immediately! Time’s a’wastin’!)

Her Very Valentine Homeschool Party

She done it again.

My Mom just has a way of ministering to the ones she loves, and the Valentine homeschool party she hosted for our little ones was no exception. The funniest thing about the entire day was her apologetic stance when we first entered in. “You guys, I’m so sorry…” she said. “I just couldn’t get it together this time.”

I forced my level of expectation to lower to a reasonable level. And then she started pulling out the party food…

Spaghetti with “X” and “O” shaped garlic bread. Miniature cherry cream cheese parfaits. Chocolate dipped glasses filled with pink milk. Homemade heart-shaped pecan sandies rolled in powdered sugar. Chocolate covered strawberries. Gifts and handmade Valentines for everybody.

I can’t imagine what her parties would be like if she was able to “get it together”! Take a look…

Mail bags that the kids made at our Valentine-making party were lining my Mom’s mantle. (Conveniently her Christmas stocking holders were still up and provided a perfect means to display their goodies).

We were unsure of their relationship at first, but “Baby Kate” and Miss Sunday are becoming quite good friends. Especially on Valentine’s Day!
Each child received a strawberry Crush soda, a treat box of Sixlets, a coloring book, a sticker book, a Valentine card and a cupcake liner filled with assorted treats.
A Valentine for each child – even Baby Betsie – from their doting Grandmother.
My favorite thing about her parties is the table – it is always like a wonderland. For the kids AND me.
I made her take this picture – but I’m so glad I did. What a beautiful woman my Mother is!
her homemade Pecan Sandies – I kid you not, I could eat 10 of these a day and never grow tired of them. Maybe someday I’ll add the recipe to Mrs. Gore’s Book of Cookery.
3 years apart, but the best of friends. These two have too much fun together…
Me and Betsie Fair. (sidenote: Betsie is the 5th little girl in our family to wear that red hoodie with the heart-shaped pockets. We had no idea when Mom bought out Baby Gap when Abigail was born that the investment would pay off!).
Miss Sunday wasn’t the fastest at the conversation heart stacking game, but she sure worked hard at it.
timberrrrr!
my little heartthrob since 2007 – love this kid like crazy.
chocolate dipped frosty glasses with pink milk – a treat for the eyes as well as the tummy!
and on Valentine’s Day, slurping and/or bubble-blowing is most certainly allowed!
or guzzling. Whatever floats your boat. (and guzzling most definitely floats Miss Sunday’s boat).
delicious spaghetti with hugs and kisses toast
it may have been messy, but they ate every bite!
especially this one. (that’s my GIRL!)
cherry cream cheese pie in a little dessert glass
there are about 20 pictures of us in this chair trying to get one decent photograph together. I think this one is my favorite (poor Betsie).
Valentine party SUCCESS!.

It feels so good to be loved, on Valentine’s Day and every day. Many thanks to our dearest Grandmother for another lovely and memorable day spent together at her house in the woods.

~

Personalized t-shirts and many of the photographs on this post were contributed by my generous and talented sister-in-law, Amy. Thank you, Amy for all the wonderful things you  do for our family!

Her Haunting Halloween Homeschool Hoopla

~ GRANDMOTHER’S HALLOWEEN HOMESCHOOL PARTY ~

The children line up for the party with NO idea of what fun awaits them!

If the kitchen didn’t scream “Happy Halloween!!!” loudly enough, the Halloween music playing in the background did. “They did the Monster Mash…”
The table’s centerpiece was a Halloween cup filled with yummy candy for each child to take home. I did NOT eat the M&M’s hidden at the bottom of my kids cups. Excuse me…I did not eat ALL the M&M’s hidden at the bottom of my kids cups.
My Mom whisked the kids to the back for a surprise – they came running back into the living room with these horrid teeth in their mouths!
Kate Belle was kinda proud of hers, giving her good tooth a polish.
Next, we played a mummy-wrapping game in the yard…
Rebekah stood as still as a statue! She is not in homeschool yet, but I still give her an A+++.
Next it was time for a craft that my Mom found in Southern Living magazine. Each child was given a mason jar to paint orange…
(I most certainly had to go back and paint Rebekah’s when she was finished…)
After they dried, Aunt Amy drew jack-o-lantern faces on them and then they were sprayed with a clear gaze and set out to dry.
The finished product! An LED light was placed inside and each child had a new nightlight to carry home.
The children were sent back into the playroom while lunch was placed on the table. When it was time to par-tay they each had to run down the hallway and make a scary face! Then they were shown to their seat. Here’s Abigail!
then a kinda scary (but too cute to ever be scary) Anna…
followed by Rebekah with her one-trick-pony always-the-same scary face…
then a fierce-faced Gideon…
followed by Baby Kate, who is still working on her scary face!
Let the party begin! I saw a quotation on Pinterest last week that said “A grandparents house is where cousins become best friends.” I could not agree more!
There was Orange Crush soda in bottles…
(sluuurrrrrrp…)
and Orange jell-o with a dollop of Cool Whip on top…
and a caramel apple for each of us with a ribbon-wrapped stick (not to mention popcorn balls, trail mix, goldfish, cheetohs, oranges, carrots, ham/cheese/crackers, cheese dip and chips, peanut butter crackers, iced gingerbread cookies, and enough special candy to give a cavity to each tooth in the house!!!)
Oh, and a precious little box of treats to enjoy at home. (purchased from Kids at Heart Designs at etsy.com)
And finally, while the grown-ups chatted and cleaned, the children watched “Its a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”, easing our Halloween extravaganza to a happy end. 
Do these children have any idea how blessed they are to have her in their life? I doubt it. But they will, I am sure of that.

As we pulled out of the driveway to return home for afternoon naps, I asked the kids what they thought of that Halloween party…

Gideon had one word: “Awesome.”

“What was your favorite part?” I asked.

“…All of it.” he said.

I’m inclined to agree.

Grandmother’s Homeschool Holiday Parties

~ Okay all you Grandmothers out there…prepare to be inspired! ~

My Mom is the queen of holidays (and I, her loyal princess). What I love most about her is that her holidays are a total expression of her love for her family. She doesn’t show off, she doesn’t waste time being fussy, and she never ever gets in a tizzy (pretty much my polar opposite). Sometimes I think that even her sneezes spray goodwill and love out into the air! She lives and breathes for others, especially us lucky ducks that used to live in her tummy.

This past year she has whipped up a brand new pot of holiday magic, and I have to say, it is her best yet…

She is the doting Grandmother of seven grandchildren, 5 girls and 2 boys, 6 of whom live within 12 miles of her house, 3 of whom are in homeschool. And what she has launched this year in their honor just makes my heart swell right out of my chest, as she has single-handedly taken it upon herself to give them holiday school parties, kind of like the ones I loved in elementary school, but amped up about 5 thousand notches and sealed with a grandmother’s kiss.

Here are a few random but noteworthy facts concerning her party-throwing efforts:

1. She always sends the kids invitations to her parties in the mail and asks for them to R.S.V.P. Precious!

2. She does all the work and simply tells the mommas to show up with the kids. As a busy mom of 3, this takes a huge load off of my shoulders and ministers to me so deeply.

3. That fear in me that my kids are going to “miss out” by not going to public school is soothed by her thoughtfulness; as I watch my children’s delight and hear their laughter, I know once more that they are going to be okay and that we haven’t made a bad choice. If you are a grandparent and your children homeschool, I highly recommend adopting this tradition of hosting “class” parties!

4. She isn’t trying to be Martha Stewart. Rather, she has two tricks to planning a party: a) Holiday colors and b) Family traditions. Which means that at this party, her entire kitchen was decorated in orange and black and every food we ate was either orange, black, or something she made us growing up. Easy? So she says. Fun? Yessiree-bob.

5. She takes health and naptime into consideration. Thus, hidden amongst the candied apples and Orange Crush soda were bowls of carrots, a raisin snack mix, a meat and cheese platter, and mandarin oranges. And we were completely finished with all the festivities in time for afternoon naps! It is just like her to make sure that her parties fit easily into our days, and that our children are not retching before they go trick-or-treating.

6. She also ministers to the mommas by making us treats, as well; in this case, a big copper pot of chicken tortilla soup. So good, so comforting.

7. She is amazing. And I want to be just like her someday.

I will share the full party photos and details tomorrow, but here is a sneak peak…

Mrs. Gore’s Hohumhomeschool

{First shared at Mrs. Gore’s Diary on February 17, 2011}

Gideon loves to make us proud…

Not really. He loves to make us look stupid.

I know this happens to a lot of parents – you witness your children do something spectacular, or you teach them a new song or a joke or, even better, a Bible verse – and the minute you go to show off their trick to another, they clam up, play dumb, and completely leave you hanging, muttering one of those pathetic parental statements like “He’s usually very cooperative…”

It has been this way for us from the very beginning.

I went over and over the ABC’s with my son, trying to make sure he learned them by the same age my niece Abigail had…which was very early. She knew the entire song “Oklahoma” before her 2nd birthday! But Gideon would never, and I mean, never, sing them back to me. Not even the first three letters! I quit trying, deciding we would pick up the ABCs during his first year of school, that there are some things not worth my stress. And that surely by the time he was 16, he would know his ABCs. Right? Surely. (By the way, that was the same reasoning I used to stop worrying so much about his pacifier…he won’t still have it when he is 16! Right? Surely.) But then one day I walked up the stairs, pretty much shocked to hear him singing the entire song, letter by letter, as he played in his room. The booger was holding out on me, all along.

One of my greatest sources of pride in my son is that he knows the great old hymn “Be Thou my Vision” by heart and cherishes it as his favorite. In fact, our entire church sang it along with him on his 3rd birthday and I just about died on the spot from the pure sweetness of it. I’ve let him practice singing it twice on the microphone at church, secretly entertaining the notion that I might someday let him “perform” it for the congregation…

But as Gideon himself would say, “I change-ed my mind.”

The first time he practiced it on the microphone, he used his artistic authority to change the timeless words from “Be thou my vision” to “Be thou my trackhoe.” The next time he made it a little further along before changing the lyrics. “Be Thou my vision, o Lord of ABCs…”

So nevermind that singing-in-big-church idea….I have officially scrapped it.

I suppose as a pastor’s wife, I feel even more pressure to make sure my child is well-versed in the Scriptures and has an early working knowledge of Bible stories, theology, catechism, hymnity…on good days, my desire is rooted in him becoming a godly man; on bad days, my desire is to appear perfect in the eyes of the church, the community, and the world in general. But Gideon continues to make it his job to keep Mama humble and dependent on the Lord. Several times this Christmas season, in public (for example, in the middle of Hobby Lobby), young Gideon would notice a nativity scene and say the exact same thing, loudly, every time: “Hey Mama, that’s just like on that movie we saw!”…

As if we have not been over the story of Jesus’ birth a hundred times! I would look around to see who heard, smile/grimace, and literally restrain myself from making another of those pathetic parental statements: “His Papa is a preacher…he knows who Jesus is [insert nervous laughter here].”

But nervous laughter doesn’t begin to describe what I was doing the Wednesday night before Christmas, a momentous and sacred night when we had our church’s children, youth and adults all meet in the sanctuary to hear a reading of the Christmas story. I knew ahead of time that Chris would be calling the children to the front of the church to gather around him as he read aloud. What I didn’t know was that Gideon would not join the rest of the children at Chris’s feet, but would decide to sit right next to him on the stage, where everyone…everyone…could see him. Which also meant that I began to sweat before Chris even started reading. About halfway through the first chapter of the reading, Gideon laid down, flat on his back on the stage and yelled out, “I’m not sleepin’! I’m just layin’ down…”

And just last week, Gideon’s sweet Sunday School teacher had a funny story to share with me. She was going over the story of Jesus’ death, using the Big Picture Story Bible, the same book we use for family worship, and asked her little class of 3 year olds if they knew how Jesus died. Gideon knew the answer. He just knew it! “In a war!!!” he proudly proclaimed…

I’m sorry, what? A war? 1. I had no idea he even knew the word “war.” 2. We read the entire story of Jesus’ birth, death and resurrection the week before his class. A war! At least Ms. Megan knows us and that we’ve been over that story with Gideon; I didn’t have to make any lame excuses with her, or even laugh nervously.

All of the above would make me a little unsure about my decision to homeschool Gid the Kid, but I’ve known for awhile what I’m in for…

We were still living with my parents, and I was so eager to show off what Gideon and I had worked on when my Daddy came home from work. “Gideon, lets show Granddaddy how smart you are!” I said, pulling out his magnetic slate. I drew an “A” – “what is this letter?” I asked in my best teacher voice.

“B!” he yelled.

“No…try again.”

“B! Its a B!” he insisted. I cleared my throat.

“Gideon you know this letter – what is it?”

“What is it?” he parroted.

“Its an A.” I finally supplied.

“A!!!” he yelled. Well next I drew a “B” but it was not that impressive when he got it right, because he had said “B” on the last guess as well.

We moved on to “O”. “What is that?” I asked.

“A circle.” he said, completely throwing me off.

“Yes…that’s right, it is a circle…but what else is it?” I asked.

“What else is it?” he repeated.

“What letter is it?” I clarified.

“What letter is it?” he repeated.

“Its an O.” I said, deflated.

My Daddy finally piped up, grinning like a possum. “Boy, Gideon, you’re really smart!”

I gave him a withering look and said “Okay, let us try one more. He knows this one.” I drew an “S.”

“OKAY…what is this letter, Gideon?”

“Ummmmm…” he stalled, thinking hard, thinking hard, weighing all the possibilities, before shouting triumphantly, “…a worm!!!”

My Daddy hooted and I decided to put the slate away until next year. Which was at least a year ago, but I’m not sure if either of us are ready to conduct our hohumhomeschool quite yet. We might just go outside and play and dig in the dirt until Gideon is in the third grade.

Because when it comes to his schooling, I think Master Gideon will either be uncooperative…

my class clown…his explanation for most everything he does is “I was just tryin’ to make you laugh!”…

Or my prized student.

But probably?…all three.

(The featured photograph was captured by Lisa Cartwright at http://www.lisasportraitstudio.com. Gideon was being completely uncooperative…resulting in perhaps my favorite picture of all time.)

Mrs. Gore’s School of Incorrection

{First shared at Mrs. Gore’s Diary on March 25, 2012}

I sometimes wonder if I’m really and truly cut out to be the schoolteacher of my own children. Not because I’m a dummy…I did graduate from college, you know. (Aaaand I managed to snag the nicest guy in at least the middle portion of the state…).

I worry because I am a procrastinator.

And not in the “oh, we’ll get around to that ol’ alphabet next week” way, but in the “I wish my children could remain children forever” way. Meaning that, “rod of discipline” aside, I rarely correct them.

Thus, rather than correct Gideon’s way of saying some statements, the entire family had adopted them as not only cute and noteworthy, but as the correct way of saying them.

Which has resulted in our own sort of language around here, nonsensical and hard to crack. So just in case you ever come over for snacks, I thought I would provide a Gore family dictionary to help you know what in the world we’re talking about:

Go peep v. To hop on over to the closest bathroom and take a #1.

Hot sauchez n. A delicious dip made of cheese, known in most households as “cheese dip”.

The bateeno with the buhwahva n. A vent in the earth’s crust with molten rock erupting from its fiery lair, pronounced by most of the country as “the volcano with the lava”. (You wouldn’t think this phrase would be used often enough in our home to make it to this list, but you’d be wrong).

Buhfrise n. surprise! an unexpected gift

Buhweeseman n. The local hero in the blue uniform who drives the white and black car and keeps us from driving too fast.

Show (rhymes with cow) Wash n. the most fascinating and terrifying location in the world where we cover our ears or scream at the top of our lungs while our car is being smacked around by giant soapy instruments of cleaning. We love/hate that place.

Uncle McDonald’s n. the place that gives us a toy to eat the most delicious french fries on the planet. We love/love that place.

Hanguber n. what Miss Sunday asks for at Uncle McDonald’s, but never eats.

Janamas (pronouced juh-nah-muhs) n. What Miss Sunday – and now all of us – wears to bed, also generally known as “pajamas”.

Captain America n. the bottled drink that Granddaddy shares with Gideon and Rebekah after work, perhaps better known as “Diet Pepsi” or “Diet 7 Up”. (long story…)

“This is my deal.” Miss Sunday’s explanation for everything, most likely in response to her Mama frequently asking (in exasperation) “What is your deal?!”

“Last morning” a phrase alluding to what took place yesterday or the day before. Or the week before, or two years ago. The only thing “last morning” is not is the present. (which can be confusing when Gideon wants to listen to the song he heard “last morning”…does he mean the one we listened to yesterday or the one we listened to on his birthday in 2008? We never know).

~ Other notes of interest ~ 

Rebekah has taken this “School of Incorrection” to a new level, inspiring us to use poor grammar, as well. She has been stringing sentences together for some time now and was just born with the gift of gab, but she makes this one mistake that I adore and therefore refuse to correct, ever: instead of using “her” or “his” or “our” as a possessive pronoun, she (and now all of us) says “she’s” or “he’s” or “we’s”.

As in “I wike she’s hat” or “He wants he’s mommy.” But my favorite is “Are we driving we’s car?” (Please, God, pleasssssee, let her talk like this just a little longer, but not so long that she is unable to function properly in society – I’ll leave that timing up to You. I completely trust You to fix she’s poor grammar).

Oh, and the “Captain America” thing started when my Dad’s Diet 7 Up bottles were promoting the superhero’s new movie this past year. “Are you drinking Captain America?” Rebekah asked with wonder. “Yep.” said my Dad. So now, the minute she walks in to my parent’s house, she immediately says “Hey, you got some Captain America?”

And one more thing. Its a good thing that Gideon somehow figured out that he was spelling our names backwards on his papers, because I was more than content to be “Amam” forever.

Mr. Gore was, of course, “Apap”.

~

And now a test:

So did you hear about the little boy (still wearing he’s janamas, no less) who got lost last morning? He’s Amam and Apap called on the local buhweeseman to help find him. “What if he walked to the batino with the buhwava?!” they cried. But buhfries! They found him at the show wash. “This is my deal.” he explained. “I needed to go peep.” They celebrated by going to Uncle McDonald’s and having chips and hot sauchez and hangubers and little cups of Captain America. “Now let’s go back to we’s house.” Amam said. “Good idea.” said Apap. The end.

If you understood the above, you get an A+ from the Incompetent Schoolmarm of the School of Incorrection. Congratulations…and welcome to we’s world.